“The French have always flattered themselves that they have gone further in the art of living, in what they call l’entente de la vie, than any other people, and with certain restrictions the claim is just. So far as man lives in his senses and his tastes, he certainly lives as well here as he can imagine doing; and so far as he lives by the short run, as it were, rather than the long, he is equally well off…There is to be found here, in other words, a greater amount of current well-being than elsewhere.” Henry James, in a letter to the New York Tribune (1875)

“…the great merit of the place is that one can arrange one’s life here exactly as one pleases…there are facilities for every kind of habit and taste, and everything is accepted and understood.” Henry James, in a letter to a friend (1876)

“From the day I first set foot in France, I became aware of the working of a miracle within me. I became aware of a quick readjustment to life and to environment. I recaptured for the first time since childhood the sense of being just a human being. I need not try to analyze this change for my colored readers: they will understand in a flash what took place. For my white readers…I was suddenly free…free from special scorn, special tolerance, special condescension, special commiseration; free to be merely a man.” James Weldon Johnson, in Along This Way

“Frenchmen are pretty uniformly gallant and approving of female appearance, and the result is more important than one might think.” Diane Johnson*

“More than its literal translation (‘It’s like that’), c’est comme ca is best rendered as ‘That’s just how it is’…Wherever there is a mystery with no solution, this catchphrase is meant to pierce the fog of befuddlement, like the Eiffel Tower looming above the Champ-de-Mars on an overcast day.” Caroline Weber*

“The French have such an attractive civilization, dedicated to calm pleasures and general tolerance, and their taste in every domain is so sharp, so sure, that the foreigner (especially someone from chaotic, confused America),  is quickly seduced into believing that if he can only become a Parisian he will at last master the art of living…” Edmund White*

“The French are endlessly subtle in their embrace of humanity and the mutations of a life. They accept human fault. They expect it.”  Alicia Drake*

“The french whatever else they may be are frank. They are very polite, they are very adroit but sooner or later they always tell you the truth.” Gertrude Stein (in The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas)

“It was not what France gave you, but what it did not take away that was important.” Gertrude Stein

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. She also teaches culture and literature courses at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C.

The Discovery of France Graham Robb

France in Mind (ed. Alice Powers)

French By Heart Rebecca Ramsay

French Spirits: A House, A Village, and a Love Affair in Burgundy  Jeffrey Greene

French Toast  Harriet Welty Rochefort

French Ways and Their Meaning Edith Wharton

I’ll Never Be French (no matter what I do)  Mark Greenside

Paris to the Pyrenees: A Skeptic Pilgrim Walks the Way of St. James (David Downie)

Renoir, My Father  Jean Renoir

The Road from the Past: Traveling through History in France (Ina Caro)

The Secret Life of the Seine by Mort Rosenblum

For books that take place in, or are about Paris, see my Paris Bookshelf. And for books about Franco/American cultural differences, and/or for help in understanding the French, my Demystifying the French: A Reading List may be helpful.

I’m open to suggestions for titles to add to this list, so please, shout ‘em out!

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. She also teaches culture and literature courses at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C. 

The Village Voice has succumbed to the pressures that beset independent booksellers worldwide—how to compete with discount sellers who don’t have to meet the high overhead costs that go along with running brick-and-mortar establishments, and especially the increasing dominance of e-books.

It’s hard for consumers to bypass bargain pricing in books, but of course independent booksellers offer readers much more than just books. They offer us places to browse shelves, to listen to authors read, to discuss books with others, to ask for, and receive, intelligent (and personal, and customized) advice about what’s new and interesting, a community gathering space.

So it has been at the Village Voice for the past 30 years.

Unfortunately, more and more booksellers are finding that it’s just impossible to stay alive, no matter how devoted they are to the business that George Whitman, another independent bookseller in Paris, called “the business of life.”

It’s a big problem with no evident solution, at least not yet. Though perhaps the loss of one more literary treasure—which the Village Voice certainly was—might make us all think a little bit more about how and where we spend our book-buying dollars.

For now, I’d like to say a personal thank you to Odile Hellier, owner and proprietor of the Village Voice. About fifteen years ago, when I was first teaching my class “Paris through the Eyes of Travelers” (now called “Paris: A Literary Adventure”) to my CUNY undergraduates, upon my request she recommended a list of American writers living in Paris. I wanted to find someone to come and read to my students, to show them that the tradition of Paris as a nurturing place of refuge for expatriate American writers was one that was emphatically still alive.  Out of the names on the list she gave me, I chose the poet James A. Emanuel. In the years since then he has read his wonderful poetry to my students nearly every year, providing them with an unforgettable literary experience.

That’s just one little anecdote about the powerful impact Mme. Hellier has had. There must be hundreds of others.

If you happen to be in Paris this week, you can go to the Village Voice one more time. (They’re open through July 31, and books are being sold at 50% off. The selection of titles is superb.)

Oh, I really do hate goodbyes. And one of the things I love most in the French language is the way of saying that dreaded word: in its emphasis on the future, au revoir is resolutely resistant to the notion that what is happening is an end, rather than some kind of new beginning.

And so, Mme. Hellier, from all of us, mille mercis, et au revoir….

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. She also teaches culture and literature courses at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C. 

We’ve really only touched the tip of the iceberg, and I know some of my students are eager to learn more. So, for them and for anyone else who may find it helpful, here is a list of additional sources of information on this endlessly fascinating topic.

Carroll, Raymonde Cultural Misunderstandings: The French-American Experience

DeTocqueville, Alexis Democracy in America

Gopnik, Adam Paris to the Moon

Greene, Jeffrey French Spirits: A House, A Village, and a Love Affair in Burgundy

Greenside, Mark I’ll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do)

Johnson, Diane Le Divorce (also Le Mariage and L’Affaire)

Nadeau, Jean-Benoit and Julie Barrow, Sixty Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong

Platt, Polly French or Foe? Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living, and Working in France and Savoir Flair: 211 Tips for Enjoying France and the French

Ramsey, Rebecca French by Heart: An American Family’s Adventures in La Belle France

Sedaris, David Me Talk Pretty One Day

Rochefort, Harriet Welty French Toast: An American in Paris Celebrates the Maddening Mysteries of the French

Stein, Gertrude. Paris France

Taylor, Sally Adamson Culture Shock! France: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette 

Wharton, Edith. French Ways and Their Meaning

This list includes a mix of genres: some practical or scholarly cultural guides, some memoirs or essays written by Americans who have spent time in France, even a few novels. I hope you find them both enlightening and enjoyable to read. (You may want to check out my Paris Bookshelf also, for more books about Paris.)

And do stay tuned. There will be more posts with tips for Demystifying the French from time to time. There’s lots more to say about that!

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. She also teaches culture and literature courses at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C. 

Why is Paris one of the most beautiful cities in the world?

Well, largely because people in France care about the way things look, and they pay close and careful attention to it–down to the smallest detail, pretty much all the time.

My favorite story about this is the time I went to a photocopy shop in Paris, to have copies made of a handout for class.  The monsieur began (of course) by running a test copy. He carefully placed the original–just so!–on the plate glass, closed the cover, pushed the button and waited. But when the copy came out , “Oh la la” he said, shaking his head ruefully. A speck of lint–or something–on the glass,  had made a tiny mark on the copy. “Oh, monsieur, c’est pas grave,” I assured him. (Typically, for an American, I was in a hurry to get to class.) “Mais non, madame, c’est pas jolie!” (“It’s not pretty!”) he protested, as he reached for his glass cleaner, cleaned the glass off, and tried again, this time producing a test copy that met his standard of excellence, and handing it to me for inspection, clearly pleased with the result. (Also, just as clearly, hoping for an appreciative remark from me, rewarding him for the care he had taken in the task. Which, of course, I provided.)

On the upside, this careful attention to detail  means that everywhere you look in France, things are arranged in such a way as to please the eye, from the grand architectural design of Paris to the artfully composed and colorful shop windows, to the way your food is presented, to the way people dress, with delightful visual detail an important part of the whole experience.

On the downside, you can’t run down to the corner patisserie in sweatpants, hair awry, before you’ve made yourself presentable for the day, and expect to earn anyone’s respect. Because presenting your unpresentable self in a public place is in itself considered disrespectful–to the people you are dealing with, to the values of the culture you are functioning in, and also to yourself.

No one is going to treat you rudely, exactly, just because your physical presentation isn’t what it should be in their eyes. That wouldn’t be considered correct either, and being correct is important in France. But some of the famous French coldness that Americans are talking about all the time may be actually a kind of instinctive recoiling from the shockingly (to them) casual way we present ourselves in public–and possibly dismay at our failure to do our part to make our little corner of the world–our part in the composition, as it were–a more beautiful  place.

Looking good is important in France. It’s not an accident that every French home I’ve ever been in has a lot of mirrors! It’s not about having expensive clothing or the latest fashions. It’s about dressing in a way that is tasteful and visually interesting, and carrying yourself in a way that makes you look (and feel) your best.

So, while it’s nice to be able to be accepted “for yourself” however you look, a l’americain, there’s something also kind of nice about taking the time to look good. Especially in France, where people value the effort, and appreciate the result.

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for the Education Abroad program at Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. This month she is teaching a class at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C.: “Demystifying the French: Tips for and Tales from Franco-American Encounters.”

In her very helpful book, French or Foe? Polly Platt urges her readers to learn what she calls the “Ten Magic Words” that will open the doors of the French heart and soul, and turn potentially sour encounters into sweet ones.

Here are the first five words:  Excusez-moi de vous déranger. ..

(No, it does not mean “Excuse me for deranging you.” It means, “I’m sorry to bother you.”)

Starting an encounter with a stranger like this (for example, a person on the street who you want to ask for directions) lets them know two things.

1) You speak at least some French; and

2) You have good manners (that is, you are bien élevé)

With these two important facts established, you’re off to a very good start.

Polly Platt says that, counter to their reputation of being aloof, condescending and cold, if you add the next five words “…monsieur, mais j’ai un probleme” most French people will go far out of their way to try to help you solve it.

She adds that this verbal nicety is so well ingrained in the French character that it was even reported in the French press that an armed robber began his holdup of a gas station with the words “Excusez-moi de vous déranger, mais j’ai besoin de fric.”  (“Excuse me for bothering you, but I need some dough.” You’ll notice, however, that he failed to properly address his victim with a “monsieur.”)

As someone who grew up in the taciturn American Midwest, when I first read this advice, my initial reaction was: There is no way I can say that many words right off the bat. (Followed by the thought: And even if I could, surely they would know I had just been reading Polly Platt…)

But. Then one day, in desperation, I decided to try it.

And you know what? Polly Platt was  right. Try it, and you’ll see!

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for the Education Abroad program at Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. This month she is introducing a new class at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C.: “Demystifying the French: Tips for and Tales from Franco-American Encounters.”

Tip #1. Instead of smiling, say Bonjour!

Better yet, say “Bonjour, Madame” (or M’sieur). And don’t forget to also say “Au revoir” as you are leaving.

It is really hard for Americans to understand how very important this simple act can be. But really, remembering to properly greet (and say goodbye to) the people that you encounter in your daily rounds in France is incredibly important.

This means EVERYONE. The cop you ask for directions on the street. The monsieur or madame at the drive-through window in a “MacDo’s” (McDonald’s). Even the security guard at the airport who you are asking an urgent question in an attempt to avoid missing your plane. OBVIOUSLY the people who serve you in the patisserie, boulangerie, etc., etc., etc.

It’s just part of treating someone like a human being, in France.

Americans tend to smile as a way to convey the information that we are friendly, polite people who mean no harm.

But this smiling-at-a-stranger does no good at all in France, because smiling has an entirely different meaning there, as Polly Platt explained in her very helpful book, French or Foe? Getting the Most out of Visiting, Living and Working in France. She quoted her French son-in-law expressing a typical French point of view on the matter: “When I am introduced to another man, if he smiles, then I think to myself one of three things: he is making fun of me, he is hypocritical, or he is very stupid. If it’s a woman there’s a fourth possiblity–she wants to flirt.”

When you know that hypocrisy is one of the character traits most despised by French people, you will begin to understand that their often unsmiling public faces are not necessarily unfriendly–and you will also understand why your charming smile isn’t getting the same results it would in the United States.

People (including French people) do change over time, manners and habits evolve, and many people who notice these things say that the French are lightening up a little bit in this regard, and changing their ways. Consequently, some of the things Polly Platt wrote back in 1994 when French or Foe was first published may be a bit outdated today. It has even been noted by some observers that French politicians are beginning to smile for their photos, almost (but not quite) a l’americain. Amazing!

Still. Don’t count on your dazzling smile to charm the French the way it charms fellow Americans.

If, on the other hand, you can manage to remember to begin each social interaction in France with a proper greeting (“Bonjour, Monsieur,” ) and end the encounter with a proper farewell, (“Au revoir, Madame,” ) you will find yourself feeling instantly and astonishingly more at ease in France, while contributing to an improvement in the reputation of Americans in France. Not bad for a few simple little words!

In next week’s post, we will look at the “Ten Magic Words” Polly Platt recommended as the key to opening up the doors to wonderful encounters with the French. And they are powerful indeed!

Stay tuned, and a bientôt!

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for the Education Abroad program at Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. This month she is introducing a new class at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C.: “Demystifying the French: Tips for and Tales from Franco-American Encounters.”

Naturally, as an American, I was surprised by this remark. Though I love France, I have spent a great deal of my adult life there, and I go there every chance I get, I would never in a million years think of Americans being compared to the French in this way.

Though I love the French and admire many things about them, I think of them as “requiring special handling.” Whereas I think of Americans as being easygoing, freewheeling, and much more flexible in their approach to life. I don’t think of us as holding to a “right” way of doing things. In fact, in my mind, that’s one of the best things about us!

But perhaps keeping this observation from someone in a third culture in mind is a good way to enter this discussion: that is, perhaps Americans should consider the possibility that we are every bit as “difficult” to deal with as the French are, at least for the French.

Today I am launching a series of posts offering a few “rules of the road”  I’ve come up with, based on more than 30 years of learning how to get along better in France. I’ve learned by hard (and often embarrassing) trial and error, along with some help from cultural guides like Polly Platt. It’s my hope that by sharing the wisdom I’ve gained along the way I can save you some of the embarrassment I’ve suffered and help you get on the fast track to enjoying a wonderful culture and people–the French.

Tip #1 coming along, right after this post. Read on!

Janet Hulstrand is a writer, editor, writing coach, and teacher of writing and literature based in Silver Spring, Maryland.  She teaches literature courses in Paris, Hawaii and Cuba for the Education Abroad program at Queens College, CUNY, and twice a year she offers Writing from the Heart workshops in a beautiful little village in the Champagne region of France. This month she is introducing a new class at Politics & Prose bookstore in Washington D.C.: “Demystifying the French: Tips for and Tales from Franco-American Encounters.”

Most of the works on my list are by (North) American, many by Cuban American, writers. But you can click here for a list of novels about Cuba by Cuban writers recommended by Cuban novelist Leonard Padura Fuentes. And of course, new things are being written all the time. Feel free to recommend books, films, other kinds of reading that you think should be added to this list.

You can get all these books at you-know-where, of course. But why not consider supporting your local independent bookseller instead? They need you, and we need them!

Disfruten! 

LITERARY ANTHOLOGIES

Bridges to Cuba, edited by Ruth Behar

Cuba: A Traveler’s Literary Companion, edited by Anna Louise Bardach

Cuba in Mind edited by Maria Finn Dominguez

Cubanissmo! edited by Cristina Garcia

New Short Fiction from Cuba , edited by Jacqueline Loss and Esther Whitfeld

The Reader’s Companion to Cuba, edited by Alan Ryan

Selected Writings of Jose Marti translated and edited by Esther Allen

HISTORY, BIOGRAPHY, MEMOIR, AND OTHER  NON-FICTION

An Island Called Home: Returning to Jewish Cuba  by Ruth Behar

The Closest of Enemies by Wayne Smith

The Cuba Reader edited by Aviva Chomsky

Cuba: What Everyone Needs to Know by Julia E. Sweig

Dancing with Cuba: A Memoir of the Revolution by Alma Guillermoprieto

Days of Awe  by Achy Obejas

Finding Manana: A Memoir of a Cuban Exodus by Mirta Ojito

Havana: A Cultural and Literary Companion by Claudia Lightfoot

Hemingway in Cuba by Norberto Fuentes

Havana Real : One Woman’s Fight to Tell the Truth About Cuba Today Yoani Sanchez

Waiting for Snow in Havana: Confessions of a Cuban Boy by Carlos Eire

FICTION

Adios, Happy Homeland! , In Cuba I Was a German Shepherd  and Loving Ché  by Ana Menendez

Adios Hemingway (and other novels in his series of detective novels featuring Mario Condo) by Leonardo Padura Fuentes

Cuba and the Night by Pico Iyer

Dirty Blonde and Half-Cuban by Lisa Wixon

Dreaming in Cuban by  Cristina Garcia

Los Gusanos by John Sayles

Telex from Cuba by Rita Kushner

The Autobiography of Fidel Castro by Norberto Fuentes

The Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love Oscar Hijuelos 

POETRY

Island of My Hunger: Cuban Poetry Today (ed. by Francisco Moran)

Nicolas Guillen

José Marti

Nancy Morejon

RECENT ESSAYS

“Cuba’s New Now,” by Cynthia Gorney National Geographic, November 2012

“Don’t Tell Dad, I’m Going to Cuba,” New York Times, October 21, 2012

“Where is Cuba Going?” by John Jeremiah Sullivan, New York Times Magazine September 23, 2012

FILMS

Buena Vista Social Club

Memorias del Desarrollo 

Memorias del Subdesarrollo 

Our Man in Havana

Strawberry and Chocolate (Fresa y Chocolate)

Viva Cuba

BLOGS/INTERNET SITES

http://www.desdecuba.com/generationy/

http://thehavananote.com/

http://www.havanatimes.org/